Single. 51. Adopted 4 boys with Downs Syndrome.
“ I learnt all about adoption and the fact I could adopt despite being single and also I could give up work and there would be an adoption allowance to help me adopt.”
How did it feel when they first came to your house?
“I brought him back home and the friend put all his luggage in the house and then said good-bye to me and I shut the door and I had this terrible feeling of panic,”
How long did it take for you to bond with your child?
“ I was lying down on the sofa and I thought what on earth am I doing with somebody else’s baby here – it just seemed completely wrong, you know I had no bond ”
Does your child have contact with their birth family?
“...the interesting thing is it is a bit like marrying in to a family they are a bit like in-laws, you adopt and they are in-laws and so Christmas, Birthdays you contact each other and wish each other well ”
Has your adopted child started to question his/her identity?
“I didn’t want to adopt because I couldn’t have my own and I wanted to sort of wipe out their past, you know their past is very important to them and I wanted to enhance their lives as much as possible, so what better than more family rather than less”
How is it adopting a child with special needs?
“I can’t imagine that I do feel less close to my children or less fond of them because they are adopted, they are very wonderful people and they have taught me a lot about being a mother and they have needed me in that way,”
What are the brilliant things about adopting?
“Adoption is adoption and that child has the same status as a child who is born to you, birth parents can’t ask for them back and in just the same way, you have a right to get on with your own life, so yes you can have relationships, social services have”
