Nickey, Nickey and Tony, Fiona, Angelina, Lucy B, Diane and James, Zoe, and Jessica mention identity
Has your adopted child started to question his/her identity?
“They’ve had a past life, they want to talk about their birth parents, and their families, and what they had for Christmas or where they went to see fireworks, or what school they went to. You can’t just cut that off.”
What do you think is the best way to explain birth families to adoptive children?
“ But, you know, then she says ‘Oh so you don’t like having babies in your tummy,’ And I’m going, ‘No…that’s not the reason why you came to live with me, it was because your…your…the two people that created you couldn’t actually look af”
Are you pleased you were adopted?
“the whole nature or nurture debate and, you know, would I have been different if I’d… if I’d have grown up in my, sort of, birth family, or even in care. You know, what makes you, who you are.”
Was your heritage taken in to the account when you were adopted?
“But it was quite apparent to everybody, living in a very small town in Devon, that… I wasn’t, sort of, purely Caucasian, and I did look a bit different”
Has your adopted child started to question his/her identity?
“I didn’t want to adopt because I couldn’t have my own and I wanted to sort of wipe out their past, you know their past is very important to them and I wanted to enhance their lives as much as possible, so what better than more family rather than less”
Has your adopted child started to question his/her identity?
“Mum and dad, they’re the people that have looked after me. I’ve only grown up only knowing them as my mum and dad and my sister as my sister, so why should it… why should it be any different? I’ve got, got a good home. And… That’s all that mat”
What advice would you give to adoptive parents to help their children feel at ease?
“Always be honest and open with your adopted children”
Why do some children continue to have contact with birth family after adoption?
“...it’s also important for children, a sense of their identity, particularly when they get to their teenage years, to have an understanding of their background and form a sense of identity”